As far as the legal system is concerned, a marriage begins at a moment in time and ends at a moment in time. Of course, real lives and real relationships are more complicated than that. Often, the marriage is over in an emotional sense long before legal proceedings are completed, or even started.
This is often called an “emotional divorce,” and it’s important to understand the characteristics of such a separation and know if you’re in one. An emotional divorce is often—though not always—a precursor to a legal divorce or separation, so knowing the signs will help to prepare you for what may come next.
The emotional breakdown of a marriage can come long before legal divorce
Broadly speaking, an emotional divorce is a physical, psychological, mental, and/or spiritual separation between spouses, even if you still live in the same house and perform the day-to-day responsibilities associated with marriage. Some spouses in this situation will describe themselves with non-romantic language like “roommates.”
Spouses in an emotional divorce might literally have separate beds, separate rooms, or even separate sides of the house. But even if they go through the motions of still being a couple, there is a level of emotional distance to their communications, interactions, and views of one another.
Warning signs of an emotional divorce
Some signs of an emotional divorce include:
Communications limited to surface level
Emotionally divorced couples tend to have fewer and shallower conversations, usually limited to practical necessities such as household chores, parenting, or finances. They are less likely to share their emotions, hopes, dreams, anxieties, and passion with each other.
Loss of physical and emotional intimacy
A loss of intimacy looks different for every couple: some may withdraw from each other entirely, while others may still go through the motions of physical intimacy but without emotional investment.
Physical or emotional infidelity
To be clear, adultery and emotional divorce don’t always go hand in hand, but they are commonly associated. People who fall out of love with their partners may be more likely to turn outside the marriage to get their needs met.
More frequent and more severe arguments
Almost all couples argue sometimes, but emotionally divorced couples may become explosive in their conflicts. Key signs of arguments that can signal the end of a marriage include attacks on character, contempt for one’s spouse, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
Physical distance
Spouses in emotional divorces may want to spend as little time together as possible. That may include staying in separate parts of the house or frequently spending large amounts of time away from home entirely.
Again, every marriage and every relationship is different, so these warning signs are not universal. You know if something is wrong in your marriage. If that’s the case, it’s a good idea to get legal advice.
Prepare for divorce or separation with the right legal counsel
Whether you are initiating or responding to a divorce, the end of a marriage can have dramatic consequences for your health, your finances, and your future. Don’t go into this uncertain future alone; get the right counsel to guide you forward. Talk to the experienced divorce and family law attorneys at Courtney Clark Law, P.C. today.